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 Post subject: The Worst Film in History!
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 12:32 pm 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Sun Feb 13, 2005 10:00 pm
Posts: 2870
Location: Liverpool, UK
I've held back on reviewing Pendragon's H. G. Wells War of the Worlds, because I just couldn't be bothered until now to even think about it. It actually kept me awake the night after I watched it because it was so bad. i couldn't sleep. It affected me in a really horrible way.
First of all I was a bit amused with the thing. The acting from the off was so unbelievably bad, so unrealistic, hammy, and embarrising that it made me laugh. It was like watching a spoof. But then that soon died a death within me. I wasn't laughing anymore. Frustration was the big thing. I commited myself to watch it. I've read the book so many times I've lost count. Its by far my favourite book. I've listened to the musical more than any other album. It's my favourite album. I've even watched the George Pal film, over a dozen times. I'm a War of the Worlds nut.
When I first heard of Hines' project back before 9/11 I was made up. That was quickly followed by dissapointment at reading it was to be set in modern America. Not because I think it is wrong for a director to update it or that. Its just that I'd love to see a version of War of the Worlds set in Victorian London. Then 9/11 happened and they shelved it and then I read they had decided to start again with the origional time and place of the novel. My dream had come true. I found this forum, through trying to find out about it, and my first post was Backward Intelects, in which I used to debate with others here, about how faithful Pendragon were going to be to the Book's Martians and their technology. They pretty much went for the tech in the book by the way. They didn't show any computers or Infra Red vision or the like.
They stuck to the scenes of the book to an extent rarely seen in a film. Most filmakers make changes because, the two mediums are so different. what works for the book doesn't always work for the film.
Anyway I wanted this film to be great more than I wanted Speilbergs to be great, but 20 minutes in and the frustration is building to levels that if I had been in a Gamma Ray accident, well I'd be turning green and ripping up Liverpool by now.
If you've seen Ed Wood's Plan IX from Outer Space, then believe me Hines' effort makes that film look like something made by God.
It is so slow that I found myself grinding my teeth and crushing my hamster. The editing as others have said is beyond the ridiculous. it is so repetetive. The accents are hidious and added to the bad acting, makes for a strange concoction. I actually wondered if I was real as I watched it. Surely nothing could be that bad. The Unviverse works in beautiful complex symetry, so how can something so crap exist in it?
The Martians are quite faithful in appearence but only move in two dimensions. The fighting machines, look okay at a push but, move and act in a ver silly manor. They keep squeeling in the same way the Spiders do in Eight Legged Freaks. The main actor is pretty camp. Reminded me of Freddy Mercury.
There is not one moment when I watched this film that I thought it was real. To me a film is about realism. Even if the story and techniques are sureal then the film still has to make you believe in that world.
I kept thinking, there has to be at least one good actor in it. He might only say a line or so but I'll be able to say that sounded natural. There wasn't. Big cast and not one of them could utter a line in a realistic way. Incredible really.
I hate this film with a passion. It is an insult to H G Wells and and insult to filmgoers and fans of the genre.
If I was to rate it I'd have to give it a Minus 37 million out of ten.
Do not buy this film. The makers do not deserve the money. I'm going to break my disk up and use the peices as splints to help mend my hamster.
I could go on about scenes. The fact that the red weed appears very early is then in almost everyscene but never commented on by the characters and lots of other rubbish like that but whats the point?
It is quite simply the worst film ever! :a009:


Bah bah black sheap April diamond spheres, Rigsby, Rigsby, Eight sided Pears.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 9:50 pm 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 10:31 pm
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Location: N.Humberside.UK
Quote:
Universe works in beautiful complex symmetry, so how can something so crap exist in it?


:lol: Thanks 'Loz' for that totaly frank and I'm sure totaly accurate account, I hope your hamster gets better soon :a037:


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 10:29 pm 
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Tke heart mate, you're in a big club. At least you didn't put out your eyes in frustration.
Only two years till Jeff Wayne gets his movie out, chin up!


Martians go mad for Ulla Hoops!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 2:51 pm 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Sun Feb 13, 2005 10:00 pm
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Location: Liverpool, UK
Thank the Lord and all his bycilcles and electric four poster sheds for Jeff Wayne's version of the mighty book. We are going to see a proper Thunder Child Battle. We are going to see black smoke done properly. I forgot to mention the bit in the Pendragon film that has the Journalist and the Curate in a house. They see through the window a group of people caught out on an open feild by a tripod . It spreys them with black smoke. But it isn't at alll the thick black, inky,fluid black smoke from the book but more like black steam. You don't see what happens to them.
Then it comes right up to the house they are in. Smashes the window they were looking out of and a tentical comes through, which then sprays black smoke right onto them both. and they are not effected.


Bah bah black sheap April diamond spheres, Rigsby, Rigsby, Eight sided Pears.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 3:40 pm 
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Tripod King

Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2005 3:11 pm
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You're right, that was rubbish. It's as if they confused the Black Smoke with the steam jets the Martians used to disperse and neutralise the smoke. Yet another example of how they did not, despite their boasts, remain faithful to the book.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 1:05 am 
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I just finished watching the Pendragon program on DVD yesterday. I don't regret having spent the money to buy the thing because, bad as it turned out to be, there was no way I could have avoided watching any portrayal of War of the Worlds. However, I do regret having enriched Mr. Hines in order to do so. I've waited over forty years for any of Wells' classic science fiction tales to be given a faithful rendition on film, so you can imagine my disappointment to find that the most faithful turned out to be by far the crappiest. In some fairness, I will have to say that that the last hour looked pretty good compared to the first two hours, so if you can tough it out, it does get better. It's as if they learned a little about acting, scene composition, special effects, etc., as they went along. Here are a few random observations. The actor portraying the main character and his brother, Anthony Piana, even though endowed with enough testosterone to sport a fine fake moustache, never develops even a five-o'clock shadow of beard during the more than a week he is trapped in the collapsed house. The most annoying characteristic of the film were the frequent shifts in tint from scene to scene: now we're blue, now we're green, now we're red...gave me a headache. The music, which is quite good, wears out its welcome by being constantly played in the auditory background. The CGI HMS Thunderchild is a vessel that can sail and deploy its weapons without active human involvement: not even fake CGI crewmembers appear on its decks or bridge. Almost all the horses are CGI fakes, except in one scene toward the end the "horse" that has pulled three people in a sulky for miles is shown to be a miniature pony... You get the idea...watch at your own risk...you've been warned!

futhark
"I saw the George Pal "Time Machine" in the theater when it first came out."


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 9:58 am 
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Martian War Lord

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I'd love to see the Pal Time Machine on the big screen. I saw the abominable remake on the big screen. To bad.


Bah bah black sheap April diamond spheres, Rigsby, Rigsby, Eight sided Pears.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2005 5:31 pm 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 5:02 pm
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If you click on this link, then you find out what my thought are abouts Hines' adaptation.
(Just to note he should have done better than that).

My thoughts


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2005 11:21 pm 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 10:31 pm
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:shock: I wish I'd turned my volume down a bit before I clicked on that link #-o


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 9:04 am 
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Martian War Lord

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Was it THAT loud then? :-s


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 1:39 pm 
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Martian War Lord

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Sounded like a dieing Cyberman.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 1:40 pm 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 5:02 pm
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It was? To me it sounded someone barfing.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 1:42 pm 
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Martian War Lord

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Dieing Cybermen sound like someone barfing!


Bah bah black sheap April diamond spheres, Rigsby, Rigsby, Eight sided Pears.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 1:50 pm 
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Martian War Lord

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Do they? I didn't knew that.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 10:38 pm 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Sun Feb 13, 2005 10:00 pm
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Now you do.

They are returning in the new series of Doctor Who.


Bah bah black sheap April diamond spheres, Rigsby, Rigsby, Eight sided Pears.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 11:43 pm 
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Tripod King

Joined: Thu Jan 13, 2005 5:24 pm
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Loz wrote:

They are returning in the new series of Doctor Who.


i know, great isnt it :D but i guess that means no Daleks, perhaps we're gonna get one retro race per new series. Sea Devils for new series number three! :lol: \:D/

:idea: :idea: :idea:
or perhaps an uber season finale for series two with a combined plot by the Cybermen and Daleks (with Davros) using Sea Devils as cronies :a007:

you may laugh but this season we got a robotic Ann Robinson and The Weakest Link and Big Brother where losing contestants were disintegrated and somehow the Daleks were behind it. Now thats great TV! 8)


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 8:02 am 
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Martian War Lord

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Now we only need some Star Trek stuff, such as starships... :roll:


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 2:45 pm 
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Martian War Lord

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There is a rumour that the Daleks will be in season 3. They need some serious updating. The name alone is outdated. Cybermen. They wouldn't call themselves that. Good name for their soilders but what about the actual society and its cultures? They could have Cyber Pets such as dogs.


Bah bah black sheap April diamond spheres, Rigsby, Rigsby, Eight sided Pears.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 3:50 pm 
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Martian War Lord

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I wonder what the Borg will find about those Cybermen... :lol: :wink:


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 4:31 pm 
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Martian War Lord

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The Cybermen eat Borg for breakfast.


Bah bah black sheap April diamond spheres, Rigsby, Rigsby, Eight sided Pears.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 5:41 pm 
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Martian War Lord

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Won't the Borg try to assimilate the Cybermen first?


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 5:50 pm 
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Martian War Lord

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They will try! They will fail!


Bah bah black sheap April diamond spheres, Rigsby, Rigsby, Eight sided Pears.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 6:47 pm 
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Martian War Lord

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How? Are the Cybermen immune against assimilation, just like Spieces 8472?


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 8:14 pm 
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Tripod King

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im frankly astonished by the nerd factor in the last few posts. :help:


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2005 8:17 am 
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Martian War Lord

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oever532 wrote:
How? Are the Cybermen immune against assimilation, just like Spieces 8472?


Only the Doctor can defeat the Cybermen.


Bah bah black sheap April diamond spheres, Rigsby, Rigsby, Eight sided Pears.


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