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 Post subject: War of the (very loud) worlds
PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2005 8:39 pm 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 7:01 pm
Posts: 1259
Location: UK
I went to see a movie the other day, an occurrence that is approximately as rare as the election of a new pope.

The movie I chose to see was "War of the Worlds," starring Tom Cruise, who, despite what you may have concluded from his recent remarks, was not one of the aliens from outer space.

On a scale of one to five, I would give "War of the Worlds" a rating of "very loud." Even the preview for a movie about children visiting a chocolate factory had all the subtle aural nuances of a howitzer barrage. The soft drink commercial startled me so badly that I kicked the back of the seat of the woman sitting in front of me, causing her to spill her popcorn.

The volume levels have certainly gone up a lot since the last movie I saw, which I believe was "Gone With the Wind." I'm not sure that the thundering sound of modern movies would have worked with GWTW:

Rhett: FRANKLY, MY DEAR, I DON'T GIVE A ...

Scarlett: STOP SHOUTING, RHETT, YOU'RE HURTING MY EARS!

Rhett: FIDDLE DE DEE, MY DEAR, THIS IS THE WAY I TALK!

Scarlett: OH, YEAH? WELL, YOU CAN FIDDLE DE DEE MY ...

(Suddenly, to the everlasting gratitude of movie-lovers everywhere, a large chandelier vibrates loose from the ceiling and crushes them both.)

When I stopped daubing the blood dripping off my ear lobes and concentrated on what was taking place on the screen, "War of the Worlds" was pretty entertaining, if your definition of "entertaining" is watching people getting the blood sucked out of them by what appears to be a giant TV tray.

While the special effects were awesome, they made me a little nostalgic for the original 1953 "War of the Worlds" starring Gene Barry. (Whether Barry went off on a long, incoherent rant about Ritalin and psychiatry before the release of the movie, I cannot say.)

The alien spaceships of the old movie were way smaller than those in the remake and their death rays made a cute "beep-beep" sound that reminded me of the video game "Asteroids."

My favorite part of the original movie was when the priest, armed with nothing but a Bible, walks right up to the aliens to appeal to their innate sense of mercy and spirituality -- despite the fact that the aliens had, for the past hour or so, been adhering to an extremely consistent policy of obliterating everything that moved.


FULL ARTICLE HERE


Lee
Eve Of The War Webmaster
http://www.eveofthewar.co.uk
"The War Of The Worlds Website"

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2005 10:30 pm 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 10:31 pm
Posts: 3365
Location: N.Humberside.UK
I take it from his comments, that David Grimes has never read the book.
The poor old sod should turn his hearing aid down a bit :wink:


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 9:54 am 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 5:02 pm
Posts: 3114
Location: Ridderkerk, the Netherlands
Right. :-$


The Tempest is an advanced assault vehicle, which carries two heavy Heat-Rays and a Canister Launcher.
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