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Sam
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Post subject: My WotW story... What If the Martian's had won? Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 12:08 pm |
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Tripod King |
Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 9:17 pm Posts: 828 Location: Wales, United Kingdom
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Hey Everyone..
Here's the first part of a short story I'm writing about a man and his wife escaping the Martian conquest... I won't give too many details. Tell me what you think, and what I could change..
Thanks
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This story is set in an alternative ending to the War of the Worlds. Based on 'Jeff Wayne's' version, this story illustrates the situation after the annihilation of human society. The Martians have not been exterminated by terrestrial diseases. Dead London did not happen. The Martians were already prepared for the weaker, earth viruses, and were immunised against them based on the DNA of bacterial strands found on meteors which crashed to Mars after coming into contact with the Earth. In this war, the humans have to fight back themselves...
A group of Londoners, all survivors of the war, had come together and had created a small group in an abandoned warehouse outside of Woking. Myself, and my wife, had joined the group of refugees in an attempt to escape the Martian occupation of London and live safely in the countryside. Unfortunately, the Martians had extended much further than was expected at such a ridiculous rate that no-where in the British Isles was safe. Even the remote islands of the Outer Hebrides had been raided by terrifying Flying Machines which had scorched the islands to such an extent that they are no longer habitable - by man or by Martian. The British Isles had literally shut down after the Martian conquest. All forms of communication, whether it be telephone, the internet, radio, had been completely disrupted. The only forms of communication that existed were word of mouth, and private radio frequencies. However, these methods of communication were extremely dangerous. Only one radio signal had been sent after the Martian conquests, and the groups of refugees who had sent and received the messages were toasted by the heat-ray and asphyxiated by the black-dust thereafter. International communication was impossible. No one knew anything about the situation anymore. The only reliable information that the various societies of refugees across the country was that from information before all communications had been disrupted - and this obviously was soon outdated. However, one day, there was a quiet murmur among the group, spreading news of a Martian scrutinisation of Woking at sundown. It was rumoured that an unforgiving and hostile force of Fighting Machines and Handling Machines were planning to capture or destroy all traces of human life that they came upon. This caused much disruption between the group, quickly spreading fear, and an eerie discomfort had soon captured the group. The leader of the society soon put a stop to this petty rumour which had caused such panic and terror throughout the group. The information had come from an underground group which operated on the outskirts of Guildford. They were one of the only underground groups remaining in England. Many of the other secret organisations had been identified by the Martians and had been reduced to rubble by the invaders. My wife and I contemplated on leaving the refugee group and walking to nearby Leatherhead, to find a suitable shelter there. We decided that it would be the best thing to do, just in case that this 'scrutinisation' was to occur. We tried to convince many of our friends, who had also joined the Woking refugees to come with us, but they did not believe this unreliable source of information. There had been a lot of controversy about the underground groups, and like many, they believed that they were treacherous and not to be trusted. They demanded that we stayed too, as they felt that we were more likely to be killed if they left than if they remained in the crumbling warehouse. However, my wife and I felt differently. We decided to bid farewell to our friends, and leave the refugee group forever, just before sundown, concealed from the Martians by the only thing they couldn't control... the night. We hurried our way along Horsell Common, hiding behind shrubbery and trees as we went, and after reaching the first, abandoned Martian cylinder. We decided to climb up to the top, to look back at the beautiful countryside in which we had lived in for most of our lives. We looked back at half-destroyed warehouse that we had called home now for nearly a month. However, the beautiful view had soon been spoiled. Distantly, a large clank could be heard, and instantly tripod figures could be seen pacing across the fields, which had been choked by Red Weed. Immediately, my wife screamed, and I covered her mouth not to make any noise. To our horror, over the demolished roof of the warehouse, distantly, six or seven pairs of menacing green ‘eyes’ shone brightly across the tattered ruins of Woking. Their metallic, shiny legs lifted and rotated and thudded back to the ground as they strode across the rubble and debris that was once Windsor Castle. The Machine’s lights shone through the darkness of the town, leading the Martian’s way. Their funnels lifted and rotated and one of the machines screamed a menacing 'Ulla!' which echoed across the remains of the town. Every so often, the whole town was illuminated by the blast of a devastating heat ray, which swept quickly and noisily throughout the streets of Woking. The heat-ray swung around, scorching the crisp skeletons of the trees further, and causing metallic objects to melt and wooden items to combust immediately. To the West, the delicate hiss and clank of the Handling Machine could be heard. It wobbled in an unearthly way and strode dominantly through the main dual carriageway of Windsor. Without warning, it stopped, and behind it, a giant and monstrous Scanning Machine could be seen. It hummed unnervingly as it scanned the devastated area, and immediately after the humming ceased, it cried a magnificent ‘Ulla!’ and the Handling Machine quickly crawled through the town towards the devastated warehouse. We looked back, terrified, as the Handling Machine ripped its way through the destroyed warehouse, and picked up several of the refugees who we had become friendly with. They screamed so loudly that my wife began to weep silently, and I was tempted to run down the mound and attempt to save my friends. My wife clung onto me, and immediately I knew that it was too late for them. The Handling machine tossed them unforgiving into a crowded basket upon its back, and the claw retracted and plunged back into the warehouse, collecting more screaming men and women whose fate had been decided by the invaders. And, without a moment of thought, the rest of the terrified refugees, who managed to escape the claw of the Handling Machine, were quickly incinerated by a quick flash of one of the Fighting Machine's heat ray, which flashed brightly and penetrated the weak wall of the Warehouse, melting it instantly at its touch. The warehouse imploded into a massive collision of rock and metal. The rest of the warehouse burst into flames and exploded in a super-heated mass of flame. Perhaps it was a good thing that the ordeal made such a magnificent noise, because my wife would have become hysterical if she had heard the rest of their friend’s screams and moans as their painful death came to them. The funnel moved quickly around the destroyed facility, scouring every inch of rubble, ensuring that there were no survivors left. Finally, as the fiery remains of the warehouse crumbled, the entire Martian squad cried 'Ulla!' at the top of their extra-terrestrial voices and turned around mockingly, striding through the remains of the warehouse and moving onto another location.
There are three types of people in this World. Those who can count, and those who can't
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Sam
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Post subject: Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 1:04 pm |
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Tripod King |
Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 9:17 pm Posts: 828 Location: Wales, United Kingdom
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I'm going to judge that by the number of clapping emoticons, you've enjoyed my story, oever?
Thanks for the feedback. What does everyone else think?
There are three types of people in this World. Those who can count, and those who can't
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Lonesome Crow
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Post subject: Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 12:36 am |
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Martian War Lord |
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 10:31 pm Posts: 3365 Location: N.Humberside.UK
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oever532
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Post subject: Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 7:15 am |
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Martian War Lord |
Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 5:02 pm Posts: 3114 Location: Ridderkerk, the Netherlands
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You should read it, it's great so far!
The Tempest is an advanced assault vehicle, which carries two heavy Heat-Rays and a Canister Launcher.
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Sam
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Post subject: Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 3:42 pm |
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Tripod King |
Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 9:17 pm Posts: 828 Location: Wales, United Kingdom
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No rush, Lonesome. I just wanted to get some feedback on the first few paragraphs
There are three types of people in this World. Those who can count, and those who can't
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Lonesome Crow
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Post subject: Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 11:47 pm |
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Martian War Lord |
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 10:31 pm Posts: 3365 Location: N.Humberside.UK
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Very good, keep it up, some good descriptive narrative
I am a little confused, you say at the beginning; Quote: This story is set in an alternative ending to the War of the Worlds. Based on 'Jeff Wayne's' version, this story illustrates the situation after the annihilation of human society.
Jeff's version was set in Victorian London, your's seems to be set in the present?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DldFBFJgWmw&feature=player_embedded
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Sam
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Post subject: Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 7:01 pm |
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Tripod King |
Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 9:17 pm Posts: 828 Location: Wales, United Kingdom
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I'm sorry, that was a little confusing. I meant that Jeff Wayne's machines, and his ideas and story had been used, but in modern times.
There are three types of people in this World. Those who can count, and those who can't
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oever532
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Post subject: Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 7:19 pm |
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Martian War Lord |
Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 5:02 pm Posts: 3114 Location: Ridderkerk, the Netherlands
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It's still great, anyway.
The Tempest is an advanced assault vehicle, which carries two heavy Heat-Rays and a Canister Launcher.
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Lonesome Crow
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Post subject: Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 10:18 pm |
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Martian War Lord |
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 10:31 pm Posts: 3365 Location: N.Humberside.UK
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Sam
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Post subject: Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 3:32 pm |
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Tripod King |
Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 9:17 pm Posts: 828 Location: Wales, United Kingdom
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I will post it as I write.. Too tired tonight maybe on the weekend!
There are three types of people in this World. Those who can count, and those who can't
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oever532
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Post subject: Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 6:41 pm |
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Martian War Lord |
Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 5:02 pm Posts: 3114 Location: Ridderkerk, the Netherlands
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I'm looking forward to that...
The Tempest is an advanced assault vehicle, which carries two heavy Heat-Rays and a Canister Launcher.
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Sam
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Post subject: Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:21 pm |
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Tripod King |
Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 9:17 pm Posts: 828 Location: Wales, United Kingdom
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Thanks. I'll keep you posted
There are three types of people in this World. Those who can count, and those who can't
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oever532
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Post subject: Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 9:45 pm |
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Martian War Lord |
Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 5:02 pm Posts: 3114 Location: Ridderkerk, the Netherlands
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In addition I'll make screenies of my THREE War rooms (one of them being a Human Game) at the earliest opportunity...
The Tempest is an advanced assault vehicle, which carries two heavy Heat-Rays and a Canister Launcher.
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Sam
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Post subject: Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 8:47 pm |
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Tripod King |
Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 9:17 pm Posts: 828 Location: Wales, United Kingdom
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Sorry, this topic has been pretty quiet recently. Have simply not had the time to write anymore, but I will very soon, I promise!
There are three types of people in this World. Those who can count, and those who can't
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oever532
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Post subject: Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 2:25 pm |
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Martian War Lord |
Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 5:02 pm Posts: 3114 Location: Ridderkerk, the Netherlands
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Hey, don't worry. I'm sure it'll be here sometime.
The Tempest is an advanced assault vehicle, which carries two heavy Heat-Rays and a Canister Launcher.
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darkfire
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Post subject: Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 7:36 am |
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Newbie |
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 7:31 am Posts: 4
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If the aliens win it will turn out to be just like the plot of those wotw ripoffs called when the tripods came, dont ask they conquer earth by sendin a single tripod to some remote location it gets destroyed by fighter planes. From there it goes downhill they use this brainwashing crap through radio and tv to cause a large war after the war most of the armies of the world are gone, the "masters" come in there tripods and with the large tentacles and feet they plow through all cities and make 3 cities of there own. Tnen we all become slaves to the "masters", and are forced to wear a black cap that brainwashes us to think the masters are good.
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Sam
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Post subject: Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2006 10:33 pm |
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Tripod King |
Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 9:17 pm Posts: 828 Location: Wales, United Kingdom
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Interesting, dark fire. Nah, I haven't written anymore for ages, but I have an ending in mind (if I ever get round to writing anymore)!
There are three types of people in this World. Those who can count, and those who can't
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darkfire
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Post subject: Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 1:13 am |
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Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 7:31 am Posts: 4
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Lonesome Crow
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Post subject: Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 1:53 am |
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Martian War Lord |
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 10:31 pm Posts: 3365 Location: N.Humberside.UK
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