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 Post subject: Customer Services...
PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 9:32 pm 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 7:01 pm
Posts: 1259
Location: UK
Customer: I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days now and can’t get through to enquiries can you help?
Operator: Where did you get that number from sir?
Customer: It was on the door to the travel centre
Operator: Sir, they are the opening hours


Caller: Can you give me the telephone number for jack?
Operator: I'm sorry sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about

Caller: On page 1, section 5, on the user guide, it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone jack before cleaning now can you give me the number for jack?
Operator: I think you mean the telephone point on the wall


RAC Motoring Services

Caller: Does your European breakdown policy cover me when I am
travelling in Australia?
Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?



Caller: (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France)
If I register my car in France do I have to change my steering wheel to
the other side of the car?


Directory Enquiries

Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed fish bar in Cardiff please
Operator: There's no listing. Is the spelling correct?
Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed fish bar but the B fell
off


Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven
Operator: Woven? Are you sure?
Caller: Yes that's what it says on the label, 'Woven in Scotland'


On another occasion a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator "I haven't got a pen so I’m steaming up the window to write the number on


Computer Helpdesks

Tech Support: I need you to right click on the open desktop
Customer: OK
Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?
Customer: No
Tech Support: OK right click again - do you see a pop up menu now?
Customer: No
Tech Support: OK sir, tell me what you have done up until this point?
Customer: Sure, you told me to write click and I wrote click


Tech Support: OK in the bottom left hand side of your screen can you see
the 'OK' button displayed?
Customer: Wow, how can you see my screen from there?


Customer: I deleted a file from my PC last week and I've just realised
that I need it, if I turn my system clock back two weeks, will I have my
file back again?


There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
long time. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which
was transcribed from recording monitoring the Customer Care department. Needless to say the help desk employee was fired, however he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect Organisation for termination without cause:-



Operator: Ridge Hall, Computer Assistance may I help you?
Caller: Yes, well I'm having trouble with Word Perfect
Operator: What sort of trouble?
Caller: Well I was typing and all of a sudden the words went away
Operator: Went away?
Caller: They disappeared
Operator: Hmm so what does your screen look like now?
Caller: Nothing
Operator: Nothing??
Caller: It's blank it won’t accept anything that I type
Operator: Are you still in Word Perfect or did you get out?
Caller: How do I tell?
Operator: Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?
Caller: What's a sea-prompt?
Operator: Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?
Caller: There isn't a cursor, I told you it won’t accept anything that I type
Operator: Does your monitor have a power indicator?
Caller: What's a monitor?
Operator: It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?
Caller: I don't know
Operator: Well look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it can you see that?
Caller: Yes I think so
Operator: Great. Follow the cord to the plug and tell me if it's plugged into the wall
Caller: Yes it is
Operator: When you were behind the monitor did you notice that there were two cables plugged into it, not just one?
Caller: No
Operator: Well there should be, I need you to look back there again and find the other cable
Caller: OK here it is
Operator: Follow it for me and tell me if it’s securely plugged into your computer
Caller: I can't reach
Operator: Uh huh, well, can you see if it is?
Caller: No
Operator: Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?
Caller: Oh no, it's not because I don’t have the right angle, it's because it's dark
Operator: Dark?
Caller: Yes the office light is off and the only light I have coming in is from the window
Operator: Well turn on the office light then
Caller: I can't
Operator: No? Why not?
Caller: Because there's a power failure
Operator: A power......a power failure? Aha, ok, we've got it licked now.
Operator: Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?
Caller: Well yes, I keep them in the closet
Operator: Good go get them, unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it, then take it back to the store you bought it from
Caller: Really, is it that bad
Operator: Yes I'm afraid it is
Caller: Well alright then, I suppose. What do I tell them?
Operator: Tell them you're too f*****g stupid to own a computer


Lee
Eve Of The War Webmaster
http://www.eveofthewar.co.uk
"The War Of The Worlds Website"

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 6:16 pm 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 10:31 pm
Posts: 3365
Location: N.Humberside.UK
:lol: =D> :lol: Thanks Lee I've got tears in my eyes from laughing so much I can hardly see my Keyboard =D>


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 6:23 pm 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 5:02 pm
Posts: 3114
Location: Ridderkerk, the Netherlands
LMAO x 1000! Thanks Lee, you really made me laugh for 15 minutes on end this time!


The Tempest is an advanced assault vehicle, which carries two heavy Heat-Rays and a Canister Launcher.
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 9:31 pm 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Sun Feb 13, 2005 10:00 pm
Posts: 2870
Location: Liverpool, UK
what a giggle! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: =D> =D> =D> =D> :lol: :lol:


Bah bah black sheap April diamond spheres, Rigsby, Rigsby, Eight sided Pears.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2005 6:17 am 
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Martian War Lord

Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 5:02 pm
Posts: 3114
Location: Ridderkerk, the Netherlands
It sure was. I even told some to my mum, I made her laugh too. :D


The Tempest is an advanced assault vehicle, which carries two heavy Heat-Rays and a Canister Launcher.
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