Eve Of The War

Venus and Mars...
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Author:  eveofthewar [ Thu Jul 06, 2006 7:31 am ]
Post subject:  Venus and Mars...

never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much.

And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and
women with their heart.


One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT?!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
Enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying,

"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you
In the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I
Told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her
clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I
Was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
Tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I
threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said,

"I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,

"No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
For a while.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
Enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I

"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight, either.

Author:  Lonesome Crow [ Thu Jul 06, 2006 7:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight, either.

:lol: Maybe not, but it's a good point :lol:

Author:  craigr [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:40 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wow, that's funny!
Now, do I show this to the missus, or keep it to myself?

Author:  Lonesome Crow [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:45 am ]
Post subject: 

:-s Yes of course you do. :-k hum, maybe that's why I'm not married :-k :lol:

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